It's...

well it's my computer it's trying to commit suicide, it's depressed, sometimes it doesn't want to get up in the morning. When I put it in my bag it tries to overheat and melt into a small puddle. Luckily, when she is only partially melted it property reconstitutes when placed on a hard flat surface. when she is pulled out of the bad she reaches out her CD tray in hopes of it being ripped off so she can die in peace. She simply does not want to go on. Once in awhile when the the power cord is in my bad, the laptop rips it apart attempting to trick me into allowing it to die when I'm not looking. Any tips on making my laptop happier?