This is a Triumph

The weekend I mean, I PAX'ed it out. It was great, I've already made plans for next year. It was so much fucking fun, I don't think I've had that much fun in forever, I got tossed made bad decisions, saw my friends in compromised positions. I walked around, saw a really bad movie, ate McDonalds collected pins, watched my friends get their heads shaved. It was a wonderful time, a time to remember forever, things don't come together in such ways on a regular basis, and so now I'm starting to work a little bit more, at school and work but only through the end of the month hopefully I"ll survive then I hope you realize that I have entered into an agreement not to work more than 20 hrs per week... yes that is right I am contractually obligated not to work more than that. pretty fucked up isn't it. I also realized what would happen if everyone in the world was able to trace my blog back to me, I have been thinking alot about what it would mean to me, and if I would be proud of the truthful bits. I may have said some undeserved things, I can't imagine being some kind of politically slanted individual I would never be able to live down even half the things I've said, you know I have records of conversations I've had on the net for 7 years or something ridicules before it was easy you simply didn't say anything you didn't believe, or you don't right anything that you couldn't stand by, should our society still consider this to be the truth? or is it ok to say some things you don't believe, or something rash, that will be kept on the internet accessible to all in one form or another even if you delete it there are websites dedicated to saving the internet. I would question however if it could be saved. But now that our whole lives can be easily stored we realize the entire world is comprised of petty, immoral, mean, hypocritical, and stupid people. What does that say about us, about society, that we are all so fucked up. We all say these awful things, about awful people like ourselves, and then you re-read what you type and you question whether you believe it, but if you said things that you only believe in you wouldn't say much because the only thing you can definitely say you believe in are things that are so vague no-one can argue about them, or that are rhetoric. "I Believe in Freedom!" do you really unquestionably, for everyone to do anything that they want? what does freedom even mean anyway? and since you can construe anything that anyone says as fucking wrong then why bother trying, what not say things that even you question, why avoid getting trapped by your words if you are building a cage up around yourself. So I say try to say things that are the truth as you say them, and correct yourself when you change your mind.

Letter to me

So here it is my letter to me. The ultimate challenge from my darling teacher, write a letter to yourself and then hand it in sealed, and I will send it back to you in one year. Seems intense no? what do you tell yourself, what do you wish that you would have told yourself now if you had written the letter one year ago? getting the letter today would be too late I guess, I would say start strong, keep up with everything, abandon entertainment, tv, novels (if you haven't already) but never forget the bubble gum machine or to die your hair red, never forget your friends or how much you like chocolate chip cookies. I guess what I am trying to get at is stay human, make sure you still like yourself after it's all over, keep your conviction. don't get caught up in the wrong things, you came here to help people, all people with different things, internet, technology, your here to protect the small businesses and the disadvantaged, also start thinking now about where you want to work next summer, as far away as it seems it's time to start thinking about those types of things. I hope you have found some friends at school, but do not desert those which were your friends before, do not be arrogant, or a stuck-up bastard. Do not cowtow to the conservative ideals of professionalism you like you the way you are and there will be someone somewhere who does as well. Don't sell yourself short.

The expectation of privacy

In most cases where you argue that someone has breached right to privacy there has to be an established expectation of privacy for instance, password protected information on the web is private, information you receive by invitation only is private, blogs however are not, and so while it feels disconnected enough from myself, I am, essentially, spilling my guts to the world for anyone who would like, to see. It still to me seems private because even if the world sees it they won't know it connects with the person that I am I could say normally but that would be a little bit of a stretch. But on the other hand since I know that only one person reads it, and I know who they are and they know who I am it makes it less private than just a random username on the internet. In fact on occasion I feel like I am engaging in conversations with only that individual despite the billions of people currently connected, and the fact that I talk mostly in unexplained riddles, and the like. So here it is, what would you say the answer to the universe is, should you ever settle for second best, why can you only enjoy wealth after you have spent all your life working for it. I've always been obsessively working towards something bigger and better, what if it never ends, what if there is always something else out there to win, what if I don't ever stop, what will I be then? What of jealousy and what of dissatisfaction.

Swirling

You wake up one morning a week away from law school and there are so many options and possibilities your mind has figured out what is grey and goes really fast, and it's not a frog. There are too many choices and decisions. This is the rest of your life your are talking about and frighteningly enough your already 1/3 of the way there. No matter how hard you work or what you do, you can't change the fact that life sucks, you spend most of it working for someone else, to make someone else money, so they don't have to. To mediate this you get the best job you can, and spend your weekends goofing off. This doesn't change the fact that most days you spend most of your time doing something you really don't want to do. I am taking a plunge into more debt than I can even imagine, more money that I've made in my entire life, on the off-chance it will lead to something that I enjoy doing. All I can do is hope. I believe though you must take risks in life, you spend your whole life working towards the goal of not working, trying to win at life. If you lose, failing at what you are trying to do, nothing that bad can happen, your back at square one. But I have discovered that no matter how insignificant your job is, you can usually cover your bills if you try. So take the chance walk on the edge invest your time and money into things that you will get the most out of, whether that is your own company, a product, or maybe someone you believe in.

The greatest invention of the 20th century

Hot Water. Excellent news according to google good weather for the next few days we are all looking at sunshine. So bbq is on for Saturday. with 66-88 degree weather with unfortunately 10% chance of rain, (I'm risking it.) Got a shopping trip planned with my family on friday morning, life is good, unfortunately I had a small problem with employment today, its looks like according to my schedule that I will be unable to continue my awesome job in the next few months. Which give me just about a week before I need to get a new job. scary though for someone starting school a week from tomorrow at 11am. Life continue in spite of the insanity. damn I'm farking tired. lol. goodnight all. (yes it is 2:13pm)

Is it even worth writing

I imaged today on the way to work that our world was destroyed, thrust into the future, and then thousands of years later they discovered the internet, not all of it, but rooms of backup servers and terabytes of storage. They found, the New York Times archive, and 4-chan, they discovered 3 millions blogs, about everything from making your own cola to noka chocolate

What would they think of us?