those perfect moments

Which are represented by rather obscure but still fun things. Overall you don't get to many moments in life which are completely perfect, in every way. Flawless timing to the millisecond, the perfect look, emotion or apple pie. I got one today, It's generally pretty chilly when I leave the house in the morning, my windows take like 10 minutes to defrost and defog, The sun was out I saw in up ahead on the freeway so I grabbed my glasses out of the glove box, they of course we also covered in mist, so I dropped them in front of my on the dashboard and turned the defroster to high, I watched them and laughed that I was actually defrosting my sunglasses, then right as they got defogged I picked them up and put them on, they hit my nose the exact second the sun struck my face, It may seem unpractical or ever over-analytical that I would be so obsessed with sunglasses, but it was clearly one of those special moments where everything comes together with fabulous viscosity at the precise time. I will keep my perfect moment thank you very much.

Upon my return to earth

I find myself disillusioned by the feeling of pavement, it's hard to accept the bondages of responsible life after a weekend of flying, Sliding the manacle back on your own wrist over scars indicated years of bondage, accepting the world on your back, knowing it could be removed if only you finally decided to let go of it. Clutching at the ropes, trying yourself up into work, stress, sickness. Breathing deeply to readjust yourself to smog, scanning the skylines making friends with your jail, your dependency, your drug. Knowing the span of time so thick it obscures the single opportunity, and yet you do not give up. Freedom one Weekend at a time.

To the unexpected

The amazing ability to let go of those things that don't matter, things that do matter, the rest of your life, to get away, to participate in things that wouldn't normally happen. Normally you would be brushing ice of your blankets, normally you wouldn't stack wood, normally you wouldn't hand press cider, normally you wouldn't light things on fire, Normally you wouldn't get drunk in public, normally you keep to yourself, normally you don't greet everyone with a smile, normally you don't have a theme song to accompany you. normally you don't eat icecream at 4:30 when your camping and it's freezing outside. Normally you don't stop around a fire to sing Pink Floyd. Normally you worry, normally you obsess, normally you can't stop. Normally you aren't as much of you as you'd like to be or is that me I'm talking about.

Thank you everyone for the unexpected, don't let it escape.

And so

here we all are, leaving from this world entering into the next unknowingly with varying degrees of noise, Emotionally dry, used up from this world, we travel sideways into an alternate dimension, unfortunately we don't know anything is different, with our minds we twist the new world into a replica of the previous assuming gravity, physics, genetics, creating assumptions that never before existed. The new world merges seamlessly with our own, we dismiss any untoward occurrences as conspiracy theories. After all Everything is the same as it was in the last world, how is our subconscious supposed to notify us of these changes. Knowledge burning holes in the possibilities of the future. . Everything is how you make it, The New world is our old world. Earth in 176-D.

ooh ya
Barter Faire :) woot!

to 4 point harnesses.

The only thing I really want in my car at this point is a racing seat with a 4 point harness. I could install them, but I kinda need new seats to that then I will have to take out my seats take off the hardware, install new hardware, install new seats, I'm looking at like 600-800 dollars for a pair which hurts, plus the trouble of installing it however, if I did that I wouldn't have to worry about crashing as much. but on the other hand I would have to worry about people stealing my car more, but that would be the only thing worth anything in that whole car, it does sound pretty stupid to, Performance racing seats. Geo Metro. Ya but I don't think that's going to stop be, I don't know why all cars aren't sold standard with 4 point harness's. They are safer and everybody knows it, instead they install airbags and strange safety panels. I say give me your 4 point harnesses. Damn this is clearly the most boring blog I've ever written. ooh well, maybe just maybe airbags are a corporate scheme to make more money for nothing, the oil companies are probably in on it too, I figure it makes your car heavier, with airbags and then you have to buy more gas and while your at it, the car manufacturers, can hoist off bigger huge SUV's and such to poor hapless consumers that don't know any better, and oil companies can make more money. Tada! evil corporation tri-fecta now in play. I don't know, I think I'll just mod my car, put in my racing seats/4-point harness, and call it good.

exhausting

They've done it, I'm finished, exhausted, drained, it's over. yesterday was such a long day, wake up at 7:30, grab breakfast, lunch exc. Crash my car, wait for officers, get ticket, call work, eat chocolate torte, look on craigslist, search newspaper, bus to shoreline, walk 2 miles, look at car, go to bank, purchase car, go to licensing place, relicense, tell parents, tell family, go home, read book, eat dinner, watch movie, finish book, go to bed. adrenalin lots and lots of it, disappointment, now a little touch of pain. <-- sleepy time.

still got 2 hours of work today, don't know if I'm going to make it, need nap. supposed to go to my brothers house but I kind of want to cancel, because I'm so damn exhausted. ooh ya, and I'm sick and miserable, forgot that part.

Beautiful fucking days, wouldn't you say, now I'm walking on eggshells, driving the freeway, hoping the Russian roulette I play on the road will never finish me.

Uppers and Downers

First off, beautiful lightning storm, to bad it rains afterwards. Sigh, it's annoying doing work for no good reason, I realize that I am working under someone else's employ in a job that pays by hour but it kinda ruins it when you haul ass to get something done only to have a meeting 9.3/4 days later and have them tell you most of the stuff you did, they don't want. There are many fundamental problems with this first the fact that you had to haul ass, second that they ignore your work for more than a week, and then tell you in a 20 minute long meeting that there was no point in you doing all of that because they want something different, why might you ask did you spend the 10 hours on it in the first place? well the obvious answer it's your time they are wasting, but their money. It doesn't really matter what they ask you to do, you should do so happilyish. Because they are paying you to do your job description whether it's a waste of money/time or not. But it Drives Me Crazy!. It's such a bloody waste of time.

I haven't figured it out yet..

So I was thinking about all the happiness a little bit of sunshine can infuse in the world, smiling at the beginning of the day. Sharing your happiness with other people through a smile, being lame and making people laugh at you. :D alright, I lost my train of thoughts, Car woot!, hopefully todays new improved car will check out ok.

Leah.

p.s. Moons stars and fairy dust.

I find myself

Sad, I have to decide if I want to take the tests over, lsats again, based on my GPA which is not shabby, 3.5 I can get into I'd say 75% of the schools out there, however, is that good enough for me, I want to try again, work for it more, put more into it, how much does it matter to me, how much will it cost me in terms of time, money, and fun, but also how much is it going to cost me in education, money, career if I don't. I'm confused, what's more important to me, I also tried all through school to do every assignment on time, and well. and still 3.5 it digs into my soul it effects my future, it was the absolute most and best I could do, but still perfection, the next number it eludes me. I guess I need to try again, I guess I need to keep trying until I am done, until it's done, is it still worth doing if I don't get into my top ten, or top five? How much time do I need to put into this, a better score, is this even what I want, is this what is most important to me? is it?