publicly conditioned

we are all publicly conditioned one way or another, and by that I mean we are taught by the people around us to act or react in certain specific ways to certain specific actions or words. We constantly have to fight against the conditioning, those replies may not actually be what we believe or think, we suddenly find ourselves saying things that go entirely against what we believe. These things are right below the surface bubbling, waiting on a hair trigger. Some of them are age specific, gender specific, race, culture all of these things are used to split us into groups, create enemies of each other. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if we notice, sometimes nothing can be done. Respect surely we use this word to process most insults most of the time our feelings are hurt or we do something stupid this is the thing we stand up for beyond all else. We must feel respect. But for something we find a necessity in life, what exactly is it? define it. No don't go look it up, what does it actually mean. nail it down, can you? really? right at this very second. I don't know if I can, I would say respect for a person is adhering to their personal boundaries, even if they differ from your own. Respect is also listening and processing what someone says, allowing them to be important. Loss of respect directly relates to loss of importance with a person. That's the best I can do, what does the dictionary say?? dictionary.com says there are 16 different meanings for respect, I'll go with the ones that seem to be the closest to what I'm speaking about.

3.esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.

4. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect's right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.

5.the condition of being esteemed or honored: to be held in respect.

11.to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with: to respect a person's privacy.

So basically what it comes to is us as people deriving personal satisfaction out of getting respect. We in general base our entire opinion on ourselves based on what others think, especially the people we are close to. To lose out on someones respect makes us unhappy, and unsatisfied with ourselves. There are many ways people use to cope with that. most commonly

1. Trying to force people to respect you, based on violence, yelling or threats.

2. Building up peoples respect for you through convincing people, others deserve less respect.

3. Striving to be the absolute best, engaging in competition for a position of respect, being the best at something to gain the respect you believe you need.

In advertising campaigns against booze, drugs and sex it's frequently used as a reason not to engage in such activities "I respect myself for much"

So we are all put on hair triggers trying to defend this thing that we aren't really even sure what is, or why it matters. Most argument instantly derail into semantic discusions of whether or not someone meant what they said said what they meant or you took it some other way intirely, most arguments are carried on through cliché phrases, and over dramatization when all arguments come down to one point, somebody got their feelings hurt. If you can get right down to this as the first point, most of the time when people get mad it's because someone did something that would hurt them in one way or another, most of the time not realizing th result, but instead of saying "you hurt my feelings by saying x" you say "fcuking Ashsole" becuase that's your conditioned response your not sure why your so upset but you think it has something to do with them disrespecting you in some way or another. so instead of thinking through your response or your feelings for the action or sentence that sets you off you freak out, irrationally, responding with a cliché, they are also programmed to respond like that, so they spout a cliché also not thinking through the actual problem, it then escalates, you both end up talking about how the other person never does anything for you and soon, you both stalk off. Later you realize what the real problem was if you actually think about it otherwise you steam in the injustice of it all, while the other person wonders what the hell set you off in the first place, and steams in the injustice of it all. Finally when you both calm the fcuk down you realize there really wasn't anything wrong in the first place and the whole thing was a huge miscommunication and move on. All of these steps could be avoided in the first place if people realized the conditioning and stopped to think about what they were saying and why.

Beware doing so may cause you to break out in bouts of rationality. Side-effects may include uncomfortable doses of reality, headaches (from all that thinking) and nausea (when you realize how fcuked up everyone is)

Love Leah.